How to hone your SalesEQ this weekend and have fun doing it.

Sales situations come with a lot of pressure, and we tend to fall back into our habits and what we're comfortable doing.

Learning new skills takes repetition, time, and sleep. If you can practice in low-pressure situations, you'll have an easier time learning.

Think of how you learn other skills like a sport or music. You practice repeatedly outside of actual competition or recital/concert.

You build your confidence and abilities so that when you're under pressure, you perform the new skill automatically.

Developing your SalesEQ is the same. Our high-pressure situation is the sales call or meeting. To increase our focus on the other person, our ability to listen quietly, to concentrate on what the person is saying and what it actually means, and to probe — all this takes practice.

With that in mind, here are two practical assignments for the upcoming weekend:

Assignment 1

1. Find a social gathering to attend or make plans with friends to go to a bar (without a band playing). You want to be able to talk for a period of time uninterrupted.
2. Find someone to talk to (tough, I know).
3. See how much you can learn about that person.
   1. If it’s an old friend, make it your goal to learn something NEW about them.
   2. If it’s a new acquaintance, find out what they do for a living and what challenges they face in their job — go deep.

Assignment 2 (or instead of Assignment 1)

1. Find a social gathering to attend or make plans with friends to go to a bar (without a band playing). You want to be able to talk for a period of time uninterrupted.
2. Go the whole night without ever talking about yourself or directing the conversation to you. Focus entirely on the other person.
   1. There should be no "I" statements.
      1. Example: Your acquaintance says something like, "We went to this Indian restaurant in Marlboro last week. It was really good." DO NOT respond with anything like, "Oh, I always go to this place in Southboro...." or "I love Indian; my favorite is tandoori chicken...."
         • Instead, use probing questions like, "What did you have? Do you like spicy food? What other places have you tried? What other kinds of food do you like?"

If you do this well, you'll do very little talking and a lot of listening. You'll also be quite popular. People love to talk about themselves.

This is a fun and low-pressure way to learn how to learn more about another person.

You'll build comfort staying in the moment and listening deeply, which will make it easier for you to focus on your buyer on the next sales call.

Summary:

1. Practice new sales skills outside the high-pressure sales environment (with friends and family).
2. At a social gathering, focus on learning about your friends and NOT talking at all about yourself.